– The Life of a Mom-
Moments patrolling the Tantrums
Every kid has their moments when they decide they have just had enough. It ranges greatly the levels of sheer anger and emotional turmoil that spill out of such small people (and also larger people). Even within the same person, they can have a day that just makes that last little bit of nerve unravel, then all hell breaks loose.
There are the tears, there is the pleading and whining, then maybe some more tears. Next we move into the hollering, and then running around the house in a dervish. If that hasn’t evoked the response at this point, let’s try some more crying.
As a parent now for the last 22 years, I have had a ton of opportunities to learn what works and what doesn’t. This small person is trying to get the thing he thinks he wants. At this point it is more time on the iPad, it could be anything, as long as I know where I stand with that issue and he does too. It has already been communicated, and we are not fighting (about the thing that he wants).
I am not laying down the law, I am not forcing my child to do any task, and I am not using a time out. This moment will pass. My job right now is to help him move on from the emotional turmoil that has risen inside of him. Mostly I am quiet, and I ask him for a hug. He gives me a hug and runs off to his room to play.
If I had told him to go to his room, the outcome would not have been the same. We would have an additional battle layer. If I ask him to Apologize when he is out of control, similarly I would not receive the result I want.
It has taken two decades of parenting my own children and unlearning often used coercion parenting techniques.